Category Archives: Managing Emotions

What is Fear? What Causes Fear?

FEAR stands for Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real

Fear is the greatest threat humans face today. What exactly is fear? It is a response to potential physical and emotional danger that all humans have experienced in their lifetime. Although fear helps protect us by making us more alert to danger and cautions us to be careful, often times our minds create irrational fears by imagining events that may never even happen. The important thing is to avoid empowering our fears to the point where it adversely influences our actions and decisions.

Causes of Fear / Why Do We Fear?
Before one can learn to overcome their fears, it is helpful to recognize a few of the causes of fear. Keep in mind that what causes fear varies from person to person and also depends upon personal experience and personality. Below are just a few of the reasons why some people have fears:

1)      Childhood trauma – If you suffered from fears and anxiety when you were a child, it can have a negative impact in later life
2)      Social conditioning – Social forces and the way we were brought up may contribute to causing certain fears
3)      Traumatic event – You may have experienced a huge crisis, such as being in an accident, that may cause you to become traumatized and fearful
4)      Current news – The unfortunate events and crimes that occur in our world can contribute to the formations of certain fears

10 Effects of Fear
Fear affects the body and the brain, thus having both physical and mental side effects. Having some fears can be normal and healthy but often times, our fears are unnecessary and can be overcome with enough effort. Below are some consequences of having irrational fears:

1)      Health issues
2)      Anxiety
3)      Undermines confidence
4)      Insecurity
5)      Hinders logical thinking and action (inability to focus)
6)      Depression
7)      Stress
8)      Relationship problems
9)      Procrastination
10)   Insomnia

Knowing these effects should make you realize that having prolonged, irrational fears can be very detrimental to your life. This means that we should not allow our minds to create and believe stories of possible events as if they were real. The good part is that, with enough effort, you can practice ways to overcome your fears. Overcoming fear is a difficult task but it is not impossible. Follow these tips to help you face your fears!

13 Ways on How to Be Confident

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Ever feel afraid to speak up in public? Or say how you feel or what’s on your mind? Want to overcome shyness and be more confident? First thing to note is that no one is born with confidence.  Rather, confidence is acquired and developed.

Tips on How to Build Self Confidence:

1)       Believe  – To become confident, you have to first believe you can be confident. Don’t fill your mind with excuses why you can’t, that it takes too much work, or that you weren’t born confident. Remember, confidence is a learned behavior. When you believe you can accomplish something, your mind will look for ways to make it happen. So the first step in building confidence is to believe that you can be confident.

2)      Change the way you think and speak – When you think negatively and give yourself reasons why you can’t do something, this will hurt your confidence. Eliminate negative thoughts and language, such as “this is impossible,” or “this won’t work.” On the other hand, positive thinking will build your confidence.

3)      Speak up – When you don’t speak up because you’re afraid to look foolish, you become less confident of yourself.  Make an effort to speak up at least once during group discussions and meetings. Not only does this build your self confidence, but you will also become a better public speaker.

4)      Good posture – The way you carry yourself can have an effect on your confidence level. People who slouch and move lethargically display a lack of self confidence. So stand up straight, pull your shoulder blades back and pick your chin up. This might take a while to get accustomed to, especially if you have spent years developing poor posture. Keep this good posture for a month and you’ll be on your way to giving off a confident appearance.

5)      Walk faster – Research has shown that you can actually change your attitude by changing the speed of your movement. By walking faster, you are showing that you have someplace important to be and something important to do. This will make you feel more important and boost your confidence.

6)      Dress sharp – This doesn’t mean that you have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better about yourself. Where appearance is concerned, quality is more important than quantity. It is better to pay twice as much and buy half as many. Paying more for quality clothes will make you look and feel more important.

7)      Make a list – Make a list of your talents, qualities, and accomplishments. Acknowledge that just like everyone else in the world, you have weaknesses. However, focus on your positive qualities and remind yourself of them every day if you need to.

8)      Make eye contact – When you avoid making eye contact, you show that you’re afraid and that you lack confidence. Overcome this fear by making yourself look the other person in the eyes. This will increase your confidence.

9)      Network with different people – If you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with people you already know. Network and talk to different people. If you meet anyone who seems confident, observe their behavior to see what exactly makes them appear confident.

10)   Surround yourself with other confident people – Try not to associate with people who put you down or are constantly negative. When you are surrounded with optimistic people who are encouraging, you will feel more confident yourself.

11)    Do something out of your comfort zone – Many times we avoid doing things out of our comfort zone because we are afraid, feel uncomfortable, and lack confidence. Practice doing something out of your comfort zone as it will build your confidence. When you do anything enough, it will become second nature and will no longer be out of your comfort zone.

12)   Work out – By working out, you improve your physical appearance, which will in turn make you feel more confident. When you are out of shape, you are more likely to feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic.

13)   Practice, practice, practice – Just like anything else, your confidence will improve by practicing all these tips and techniques.